Dont Believe Me Just Watch!!

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Dont Believe Me, Just Watch!

Q: Kathryn, it is super hard to stay positive when all my friends keep shooting down my hopes for love. Theyre just so negative. And say my prospects are slim.

They get mad that I wont settle. And think I shouldnt hope for much.

How can I deal with this? So far, I get discouraged more and more of the time.

A: Let me tell you a story that will help.

Edie is one of my coaches and first discovered my work going through a divorce.

She was not exactly a spring chicken and was very fearful about finding love.

She did not want to grow old alone and yet her experience of love had been hurtful so she was scared about recreating that.

Friends and family told her to set her bar low, that at her age, she couldnt expect much.

This unthinking words made her even more fearful. After her painful divorce, she did not want to go through any more.

This is not uncommon.

When youre single, every fear that you wont find love or will have to settle will come up.

When I was single, I remember some of the hurtful things people told me:

"At your age, dont expect a good looking guy."

"All guys are having sex. Youll never find someone who is not involved, do dont even expect it."

I remember having to distance myself from one negative friend. It was just too hard when I was already feeling so vulnerable.

Edie went through the same gauntlet of naysaying and doubt.

Its something she and I had to overcome.

She healed from her past, and became strong, increasingly immune to her own fears and the negativity of others.

So to answer your question, the best way to deal with naysayers is the following:

1) Become increasingly immune to others who are negative

2) Keep hope in your heart and be careful about who you share your dreams with

3) Stay hopeful. Keep the faith

4) Do work that will back you up and fight against the deluge of naysaying you may encounter

5) Dont settle but keep your standard high

6) Build yourself up and remember you are a catch.

Edie and I worked on this together, and then, she met John. Not only is he an educated, handsome man but he is kind and adores her.

After dating for about a year, he proposed on Christmas Eve. In her 60s, Edie has experienced more romance than she could ever have dreamed of.
The newly married Edie & John

At their wedding, John thanked me several times for my support of him and their relationship.

He is truly in love with Edie and feels like he won the jackpot. She does, too. Everyone at the wedding was moved by their love.

At the reception, we all laughed when the song "Uptown Funk" was played. The chorus says:

"Dont believe me, just watch"

It was Edies victory dance -- that despite the naysaying, she triumphed and got what she wanted.

I hope youll vow to dance that same dance of triumph at your own wedding. You can!

All it takes it developing your faith that yes, you, too, can find love. Add to that ignoring the naysayers and doing some opening to love.

And you, too, will be singing "Dont believe me, just watch!" at your own nuptials.

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Never had a long term relationship

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This weeks Q & A is from someone who has had trouble having any lasting relationships at all.




Q: Kathryn, the longest relationship I ever had was just a few months. And that was in my 20s. Now Im turning 40, and its been a long time since Ive had a relationship that lasts longer than 6 weeks.

What is wrong with me?! Im losing faith that Ill ever find someone, and yet, I want a husband and children while I still have a chance at that. Is there any hope for me?

A: You have every hope for love! I have a client getting married in a few weeks who came to me with your exact issue. Walking her beyond her pattern was what changed everything for her.

If I were working with you, heres how we would solve this issue for you.

1. Wed look into your past and see if you are hanging on to old trauma or if you have been equating love with hurt. Wed look for whatever your block is and treat it.

2. We would work to line you up with love completely. I suspect you have a fear or misconception that has you torn about love. We need to let go of anything that is in conflict within. Things like this can hold love away.

3. I would make SURE you know youre lovable and worthy of a lasting love.

4. Finally, we would lay in some new patterns for you -- of thinking, of behavior in connecting with attractive people and of dealing with the inevitable bumps in the road as you date.

This protocol has been super effective in my work. Its responsible for my ever-expanding wall of weddings.

Much of it you can do yourself. But many times, we have a blind spot, which keeps us in a frustrating pattern like yours. What can help is either a love coach or possibly my Soulmate Bootcamp -- a program that has worked with many holdouts, who have almost give up on love.

Its on sale next week for our birthday sale, so stay tuned for that and take a look at it in the meantime.

I support you in finding love. You can and you will!

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How to get your ex back

At long last (and I know youve been asking for a while), weve released the 5th and final video in my Breakup Recovery series just today.

This one is called "How to Get Your Ex Back" and you can find it here:

We have this weird phenomenon of peoples former flames coming back when they do my release process. 

Yes, you can get them back, but should you? 

Be warned that only 10% of the time does it STICK.

Enjoy!

love,
Kathryn

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