Slut Shaming

[to hear an audio version of this Q & A, click here: http://iTeleseminar.com/74619435]

Q: Kathryn, Ive been doing your "Date for Your Soulmate" Course and its working! Im starting to connect with more hot men, but Ive hit a snag.

Part of the course talks about flirting, and I just cannot do it. I was raised to believe that women who flirt are sluts, and it just feels wrong. Ill feel like a bad person, a hussy, and I cant do it. Even if I try as little as a wink, I freeze up.

A proper woman doesnt act that way, and I need to ask you if I really have to flirt to find love. I dont want to impede my progress. But this is beyond what I can deal with.

A: Wow, thats a lot, and Im so very glad that you wrote about this flirting block, because we need to address it. Here are a few points to help you out:

1. I adore the term slut-shaming because it negates the notion that women are either madonnas or whores. There is nothing wrong with having a sexual side and using it when youre connecting. We all have many complicated sides, and its okay to be sexual. To judge women (and not men -- such a double standard!) for being too flirty is just wrong and can inhibit a womans ability to be who she is.



2. The definition of flirting is a mild sexual energy in communicating. Its a terrific aid to turning a persons head who you are interested in.

3. Flirting ensures you wont be friend-zoned. It also opens up your 2nd chakra. If youve had a long, dry spell, you may in danger of shutting down, and this can prevent love from coming along.

4. Even if you dont want to flirt with anyone else, you definitely want to be flirting with your soulmate.

5. It helps to practice flirting to be in practice when a hot person (most likely to be your soulmate) comes along.

6. Everyone -- even the shyest amongst us -- has a flirting style. It varies wildly, as you are seeing in the course where I talk about all the styles and how to find yours.

I hope this explanation can help flirting seem less scary or prohibitive for you.


The course youre doing has helped so many people open to love! If  youre going to do it, dont skip parts of it. The process cant work as well.

I bless you for getting over this hump. It will open a whole new world to you.

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Twitter: @KathrynAlice1

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Never had a long term relationship

To hear an audio version of this newsletter, click here:http://iTeleseminar.com/72424011

This weeks Q & A is from someone who has had trouble having any lasting relationships at all.




Q: Kathryn, the longest relationship I ever had was just a few months. And that was in my 20s. Now Im turning 40, and its been a long time since Ive had a relationship that lasts longer than 6 weeks.

What is wrong with me?! Im losing faith that Ill ever find someone, and yet, I want a husband and children while I still have a chance at that. Is there any hope for me?

A: You have every hope for love! I have a client getting married in a few weeks who came to me with your exact issue. Walking her beyond her pattern was what changed everything for her.

If I were working with you, heres how we would solve this issue for you.

1. Wed look into your past and see if you are hanging on to old trauma or if you have been equating love with hurt. Wed look for whatever your block is and treat it.

2. We would work to line you up with love completely. I suspect you have a fear or misconception that has you torn about love. We need to let go of anything that is in conflict within. Things like this can hold love away.

3. I would make SURE you know youre lovable and worthy of a lasting love.

4. Finally, we would lay in some new patterns for you -- of thinking, of behavior in connecting with attractive people and of dealing with the inevitable bumps in the road as you date.

This protocol has been super effective in my work. Its responsible for my ever-expanding wall of weddings.

Much of it you can do yourself. But many times, we have a blind spot, which keeps us in a frustrating pattern like yours. What can help is either a love coach or possibly my Soulmate Bootcamp -- a program that has worked with many holdouts, who have almost give up on love.

Its on sale next week for our birthday sale, so stay tuned for that and take a look at it in the meantime.

I support you in finding love. You can and you will!

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The Danger of Dancing with an Eel

[To hear an audio version of this blog, click here:
http://events.instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=73384068]

You all are always asking me to write more about THE EEL -- heres a question about it to shed some more light on the topic.

Q: Kathryn, I think Im involved with an eel -- as you describe it -- and its worrying me.

"Joe" and I have been dancing around for about four years. He is super charming and comes on strong. Only to pull away the minute after we talk about getting serious.



I almost feel obsessed with him and no one holds a candle to him, in my opinion.

Should I try to really pin him down and find out? Or should I just hope that the light will come on, hell realize Im the One and finally be willing to get serious with me. I feel hes worth the wait.

A: It does sound like an eel situation, Im afraid to say:

Definition of The Eel: someone who seems in your grasp, but then slithers away just when you thought it was going somewhere, only to reappear again as you give up hope.

Often, the eel is charming and knows how to reel you in just enough that you cant let go.

And just when youre almost over them, they reel you in again.

They can sense when youre finally letting go, which is part of that phenomena of the release work I do.

After four years of your life, he should know if you are the One. Thats enough time of your life spent on him.

Id try one more time and tell him its now or never. And if he again pulls away, then this time, do anything you can to rid yourself of this attachment/obsession.

Remind yourself of how much happier youll be when youre in love with somone who cant wait to get a commitment from you.

Your soulmate will be hotter than the eel. And much less frustrating.

The truth is that I rarely meet someone who is dancing with an eel and is actually happy.

For many, dancing with an eel is a great way to remain single. Keeping yourself tied up with someone unavailable ensures you remain unavailable yourself.

I want more for you, and believe me when I say, theres much, much better for you ahead if you can just let go of this frustrating situation.

Im sending you love & support for getting clarity and moving on.

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