2 Easy Steps to Connecting with Someone Hot A Challenge!

One of the biggest questions I get from singles is how to connect with someone super attractive to them.

No matter how outgoing you are, you can get tongue-tied when faced with a hottie. Fear of rejection or sheer intimidation can kick in.

If you do not learn to connect with those you are attracted to you, you rule out those most likely to be your soulmate. So, we HAVE to tackle this issue!

Heres my easy two step formula to learning to connect with those you are attracted to:

1. Boost yourself up. Remind yourself you are not chopped liver. Put yourself up on that pedestal with this hottie, and remember that they are lucky to connect with you. You are a good conversationalist, and have something they want.

2. Be sensitive to this person. Rather than trying to come across as a big wit, put on your listening cap and think about who this person is and what (s)he might need. Ask him or her a question. Bring them out, and you dont have to worry about what to say.

You dont want to approach them with any big agenda. Instead, the sole intention is to connect. The rest can come later.

I have had a phenomenal success rate with the shy and the introverted by using this method, which plays to their strengths.

You will get better with practice, so my challenge to you is to try this method on 3 people you are attracted to this week.

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In Your Wheelhouse

Q: Kathryn, I need some serious help. Theres a guy Ive been craving that I see at my gym, but he intimidates me. I can barely look at him, much less smile or try to actually make contact. He just seems out of my wheelhouse. Why would a guy like that -- who probably has women chasing him -- pay any attention to me?

Im kind of fixated on him. Do you have any advice for getting beyond him being out of my league?

A: First off, he is NOT out of your league. Leagues are a false construct that absolutely do not hold up in love. Statistics back me up on that one, too.

Heres what I suggest -- a technique that uses behavioral therapy -- one of the most effective methods of overcoming fear available.

1) The Attitude Adjustment. Start seeing yourself differently -- as someone that a guy (your soulmate) like him will eat up with a spoon. Your One will be the most attractive person you ever meet, so hes one of the more likely ones to be your soulmate. Elevate yourself to his level as best you can.

2) Remember how dating works. The first encounter is insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Its repeated interaction and deeper bonding that most relationships are built upon -- even in their initial attraction phase. (My book Dating for the One really dives into this and how to create that bond.)

3) Now, you need to act "as if" with this hunk. Even it you cant completely believe it, act "as if" this guy were in your wheelhouse. How would you treat him? What would you do? Act as if you have faith that you get love & that it will be a hottie like him.

(I had a recent client try this, and she had the guy who had intimidated her chasing her down for a date.)

Prepare for your next encounter using this process. It works wonders. Id love most of all for you to know just how lucky he is to talk to you. You discount yourself when you feel in a different wheelhouse, and its just not true.

Love & support for changing wheelhouses, 
Kathryn

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Worried About the Chemistry

Crackling chemistry is a sign its your soulmate -- though chemistry alone is not enough. 

There are ways to know if theres chemistry pretty quickly -- I detail this in the video (the last of my summer teaching tour videos -- shot on a boat near a glacier in Alaska)

If you are in doubt about the attraction between you and someone youre seeing, this will help you out.

Make SURE you include chemistry prominently on the list of things youre looking for in your mate. The other one I always ask people to add is "available" -- a whole other subject.

Enjoy, and lets connect again soon!

love,
Kathryn

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