Get It Over With Tear Off the Bandaid!

Q: Kathryn, I have been in love with a man for several years. We work together in my office. We flirt, but nothing more has come of it, and I am too shy to say anything. I just found out he got engaged, and I am devastated.

 No matter how hard I try to release, my love for him continues. I feel like he will realize he loves me and break off the engagement. And even if he gets married, I think I may always love him. But I am miserable. What can I do? Thanks for any advice.

A: If ever there was a wake-up call to let go, this is it! What I have to say may surprise you. I find that those who get hung up on someone unavailable are actually unavailable themselves. In some way, your feelings for this man keep you “safe” – out of reach for real love.

Perhaps something in your past has made you equate love with hurt so it’s easier to have a fantasy love rather than the real deal.

But the real deal is SO much more fulfilling, and you will have none of the pain you are feeling.

What I suggest you do is to Clear Your Field. This is a radical move, but it has worked super well for people who pined away for someone for up to a decade. Here’s how to Clear Your Field.

1. Find out the truth – if this person is interested, even if you feel you are sticking your foot in your mouth.  It is better to KNOW than be in some fantasy land. It is better to get beyond it, bring it to earth and move on. So, ask about it, bring up the subject. I know this can be humiliating and risky, but your future in love is at stake. This is serious!!! 

2. If the answer is NO, or if this person tries to lead you on   

(often those we get attached to have a vested interest in having someone on the side to feed their ego), then you need to get real here. This step can help you to realize it will never work out and that it is beneath you to continue these feelings.

3. Sit down and assess what you’ve learned. Ask yourself if you are willing to put your precious life on hold for someone who is just not returning the feelings. I’ve had great success with folks who can finally see the truth and get over it. It’s like ripping a bandaid off. Getting it over with shakes you out of the attachment that has held you hostage. You will be amazed at how quickly this reality check sets you free, and it is worth saying something just to get beyond it.

4. Do a release and then turn your attention to the love that awaits you beyond this. A real love that loves you back!

Here’s the Truth: If they were your One, it would be working out. And, they may be an eel. The reality with your One will be SO much better!

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Total Disaster

Hi, there! 

Here’s another question one of you sent in that I’m answering today for my new regular Q & A.

This person went through a very rough time, and I want to help her and help you, too.

Q: The other day, I had a total   disaster happen. 

First, I saw my ex with his new girlfriend,

and blurted out something super inappropriate

(yes, I’m bitter).

I was humiliated and upset. 

Then, I had a blind date from the internet which was just awful.

He was really attractive, but I was in such a 

funk from seeing the ex that I was in a foul mood, stuck my foot in my mouth and felt a fool.

Of course, that date didn’t last long  

(I don’t blame him for not being interested), and then, I had a minor fender bender on the way home. 

I have not had panic attacks in years, 

but I had one. 

It took me hours to be okay, I pretty much didn’t sleep the night, and the following days have been pretty terrible.

It’s like there’s a black cloud hanging over me.

Is there any hope for me in love?

A: Of course there is! 

We all have had bad times in love, and as horrible as this has been for you, it’s not even the worst I’ve heard. 

But you still have every hope.

You and your love will one day laugh over this.

So, how do you move beyond the black cloud? There are only three things you can do to remove yourself out of the funk.

What happened in this case is that you got such a negative momentum going that it was hard to stop it in the middle of the downward movement. 

The good news is that momentum will peter out if you don’t feed it. So, when it gets THAT bad, here are the 3 things that can work.

I would do one of these as soon as you see the downward momentum starting to happen so it doesn’t compound the way it did in this case (bless your heart!)

1) Take a nap.

You may have heard my “go lie down” philosophy. 

If the going gets rough, check out for a while. You’ll wake up feeling better, fresh and can work on a more positive momentum.

2) Meditate. 

Studies confirm 

that meditation is so powerful that it can circumvent automatic reflexes, ease up on our fight-or-flight instinct and completely change our state. It’s why meditations are always included in my work. 

Meditation is a great way to change your state, especially if it’s chronic.

3) Distract yourself. 

It really helps to go watch a silly program, pick up a good book, love your cat or involve yourself in a project.

You can come back to the subject of love when you feel better, and it’ll be so much easier to get positive momentum going.

If you don’t feed the negative momentum by continuing to act from an off-center place, you have no idea how quickly things can get good for you. 

Love could show up tomorrow!

I bless you for feeling better & finding the new lease on life that awaits you.

Try those 3 things the next time you feel yourself going down a black hole.

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Slipping Through Your Fingers

Have you ever felt that something was too good to be true?

 

And sadly, then see that suspicion play out?

One minute youve gotten something youve really wanted.

And the next, it slips through your fingers.

I get emails often about a fizzled romance with someone who was just right.

Why does this happen?

Its because youre not UP TO SPEED with what you want.

That is the same issue that causes nervousness.

The good news is that there is an easy trick to get you up to speed with your biggest dreams.

And when you are, they happen easily, and it STICKS this time.

You GET what you want & it doesnt go away: whether its your love, a job or anothergreat manifestation.

love,

Kathryn

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