How Do I Forgive My Husband for Cheating On Me

This is a question that woman have been asking themselves for centuries. It’s only in recent decades that divorce has really been an option for women whether their husbands cheated or not. While it’s hard to believe in silver linings right now, the bright and shining one for you is that marriages survive cheating spouses all the time.

When you look at the number of relationships with cheating partners, the numbers are truly staggering. Statisticbrain.com says that 41 percent of marriages have one or both spouses admitting to infidelity (emotional or physical). The really shocking news though is that, for perhaps the first time in history, men and women are cheating on almost an equal scale. Fifty-seven percent of men admit to cheating in any relationship they’ve had and 54 percent of women admit to cheating.

While the numbers aren’t completely promising, 31 percent of marriages survive (and last) after the affair has been discovered. When you consider that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, those numbers are a little more promising. But, how does this help you find forgiveness for the man who broke the vows you made together?

Allow Yourself Time to Process the Blow

This isn’t a light confession like drinking milk out of the carton or forgetting to take the garbage to the road on trash pickup day. This is a big deal. You need to allow yourself the time, and space, you need to really process what has happened, how you feel about what has happened, and what YOU want to happen next.

Don’t allow yourself to be bullied, cajoled, pushed, or drug into a situation you’re not emotionally prepared to dive into. It’s too much and could put you into meltdown mode where you withdraw from everything and everyone. That’s not good for anyone or your marriage.

Be Selfish for a Little While

There’s nothing wrong with watching him work his way back into your good graces. While it’s not cool to allow him to keep trying to win you over if you know you’re going to leave, there’s nothing wrong with dragging it out a little bit to watch him pay some sort of penance. It won’t make up for the pain. It certainly won’t take the pain away. But there is some sort of sadistic pleasure you can derive from it, and well the Universe owes you a small dark moment or two in wake of a blow like this.

Forgive Yourself First

Women have been taught to blame themselves when their men stray. Even in the so-called enlightened world we live in today, other women, prominent clergy, and countless politicians drive home the idea that the woman is the one at fault when men stray. Stop swimming in blame and guilt over actions that weren’t your own. You can’t own his actions any more than he can own yours. He did the cheating. But once you forgive yourself for his cheating, you’ll find that it’s much easier to forgive him for doing the cheating.

The path to forgiveness in infidelity is one of the most painful and surprising paths to walk. When you follow these steps, you’ll find that it’s easier to walk (though by no means easy) than you would have ever thought possible otherwise.

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Why Did My Girlfriend Cheat on Me

The numbers on cheating are quite alarming if you look at modern statistics. The most alarming fact of all, for many men, is that the number of women who cheat almost equals the number of men who cheat. This is the first time thats happened in the history of humanity. The thing to remember is that the reasons women cheat are often very different from the reasons men cheat. These are a few of the most commonly stated reasons women cheat on their men.

She Needs Something Her Husband/Boyfriend Isnt Giving Her

We all have needs. Its human nature. Successful relationships are all about both parties having their needs met. This requires a major level of effective communication about your individual needs, what they are, and how those needs are best met. And thats a challenge for many couples. A big one.

The other challenge is that she doesnt always know what that need is until someone comes along and leaves her completely gobsmacked by meeting it. Its hard to compete with that. However, that doesnt excuse her cheating either. It just makes her vulnerable to the person who is meeting this need shes had thats left her unfulfilled for so long.

He Pays Attention

Women who cheat often feel lonely despite being married. You may not be the greatest conversationalist, but when you stop paying attention to your wife and what she has to say, it leaves her feeling lonely, alone, and isolated.

It makes her the perfect fodder for a man interested in a "string free" relationship with a married women or for a man who really has his eye on the prize your wife really is. All he has to do to make her putty in his hands is pay attention to her, listen to what she has to say, and respond in a positive manner.

She Feels Like Shes Being Taken for Granted at Home

Many women feel unappreciated at home. She feels like her efforts arent noticed or appreciated by her family and her husband. She feels like its always taken for granted that shell be there and that no one really cares that she is.

Then a stranger comes along and shows appreciation, makes her feel like the center of the universe, and really notices the little things. Shes no longer feeling taken for granted. In fact, shes feeling a wide range of emotions she hasnt felt in a long time, the most important of which is excitement.

Women are less likely to cheat simply because the opportunity presents itself. More often than not, it isnt a spur of the moment decisions and it isnt often casual. Thats why womens affairs are often more devastating to the state of the marriage than a mans affair. Actively work to prevent this from happening by paying attention to your wife, noticing the details, showing your appreciation, and dedicating yourself to discovering and meeting her most important needs. Youll be amazed what a difference these steps make in your marriage and your relationship.

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